Expensive suits, Easy women, & Cheesy One-Liners

I finally did it.  I reached that milestone.

You know, the one every man seeks to achieve at least once in his lifetime…

Twenty-three movies.*  Dozens of women.  Hundreds of bad guys.  No car left unscathed.  Hours upon hours of cinematic genius (-ish).  And that oh-so-familiar tune.

Bond.  James B-O-N-D Bond.

Every single James Bond movie (sorta, but I’ll get to that*) watched.  Every story attentively followed.  Every evil maniac thwarted.

It’s been an epic journey.  Life-changing.

And if you’re a James Bond devoteé, you invariably have a favorite actor.  Is it Sean “I am all that is manly” Connery?  Or perhaps you prefer Roger “I have no shame approaching women as if they’re hors d’oeuvres” Moore.  I suppose it’s even possible that your artist of choice is Timothy “I’m exceedingly late-80’s British” Dalton.

My Bond pick?  A surprise to some of my contemporaries, my favorite Bond was George Lazenby.  I know, I know…Sean Connery was the real Bond.  Until the very edgy and raw Daniel Craig in the most recent releases.  Still, Lazenby seemed to me to be the best actor out of them all (until Craig, of course, but for different reasons).  He presented a depth and richness in his character that the other Bonds simply lacked.  Now it may also be that On Her Majesty’s Secret Service had a script that delved deeper into the human realm of the big screen spy, and thus forced the Bond place-holder to show a more developed character.  But to each his own.

So after many long nights spent glued to my laptop screen, all (almost) the greatness of the Bond persona was fully assimilated into my own delusions of grandeur.  If you’re looking for a great way to get away from the hum-drum routine for a few days, this is it.

*Okay, so there are more than 23 Bond movies.  I didn’t watch the original Casino Royale (and yes, that limited me to one less legitimate Bond portrayer), nor did I even attempt to watch David Niven’s farce.  I also refrained from watching in its entirety the second installment of Thunderball, cleverly re-marketed (albeit with an awkwardly over-aged and over-fed Connery-comme-Bond) as Never Say Never Again.  But hey, I think I did the Bond legacy (and my own manhood) some justice.

**What’s that you say?  You want to know what my favorite Bond movie is?  Well, Lazenby’s movie was good, however…simply due to advances in cinematic production quality, and owing to a great screenplay and a good pick as the new face of Fleming’s protagonist my favorite (for now) is Skyfall.